i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
