im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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