remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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