my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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