i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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