Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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