I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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