There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
