i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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