my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
