i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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