She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize