this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
