Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
