If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i believe in u and ur pee
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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