we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
