...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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