Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize