i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
