sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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