Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
