I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
