You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
