i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
