): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize