If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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