He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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