I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I puked a lego.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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