So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Randomize
