I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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