Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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