At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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