please come you make the beer taste better
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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