she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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