So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
