I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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