I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
