Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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