I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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