Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
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So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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