No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
