Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
