Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
