I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
