If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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