question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
being pregnant is like rehab
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
