i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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