dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
