I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
