i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
