Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
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I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.