omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"