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• (206): View more from Washington

  Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Shut the hell up.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (818): View more from California

  i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing

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