How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
