Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.

Fav 4 1831 2672
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.

Fav 10 2087 828
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(810): View more from Michigan

Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

Fav 14 4169 910
share tweet
(480): View more from Arizona

the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

Fav 17 5884 988
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

Fav 21 6429 1663
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.

Fav 16 4898 1359
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud

(917): View more from New York City

it's sad that this is a milestone

Fav 11 2084 2910
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

Fav 6 586 1407
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.

Fav 4 753 499
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT