yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.