Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.

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(248): I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out. http://tfl.nu/085c

Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (2296)
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(925): View more from California

Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.

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(925): Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you. http://tfl.nu/15wm

Replies (19) Good night (6399) Bad night (1042)
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(817): View more from Texas

They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great

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(817): They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great http://tfl.nu/5yg0

Replies (8) Good night (1351) Bad night (3478)
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(314): View more from Missouri

He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.

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(314): He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is. http://tfl.nu/o2e4

Replies (42) Good night (1226) Bad night (6552)
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(573): View more from Missouri

We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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(573): We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old. http://tfl.nu/bm7p

Replies (5) Good night (1765) Bad night (1041)
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(631): View more from New York

Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?

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(631): Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells? http://tfl.nu/xi2s

Replies (3) Good night (3416) Bad night (861)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...

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(978): FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong... http://tfl.nu/4k47

Replies (7) Good night (3932) Bad night (893)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.

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(617): Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns. http://tfl.nu/g37i

Replies (28) Good night (4787) Bad night (1496)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months

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(763): Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months http://tfl.nu/4w1o

Replies (3) Good night (1635) Bad night (1140)
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(602): View more from Arizona

UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.

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(602): UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle. http://tfl.nu/69ov

Replies (7) Good night (1722) Bad night (859)
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(209): View more from California

come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground

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(209): come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground http://tfl.nu/qcj8

Replies (13) Good night (819) Bad night (2309)
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(727): View more from Florida

Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?

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(727): Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now? http://tfl.nu/ch6a

Replies (11) Good night (683) Bad night (1422)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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(920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b

Replies (8) Good night (546) Bad night (1240)
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(530): View more from California

All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.

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(530): All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls. http://tfl.nu/uabx

Replies (12) Good night (766) Bad night (1079)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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(843): In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight. http://tfl.nu/6bps

Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (362)

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