Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  what?

  (520): View more from Arizona

  YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!

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  (520): JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP! (1-520): what? (520): YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?! http://tfl.nu/3cop
  Replies (38) Good night (844) Bad night (4138)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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  (937): I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird. http://tfl.nu/7edr
  Replies (66) Good night (814) Bad night (5205)
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  (916): View more from California

  Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

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  (916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm
  Replies (17) Good night (1289) Bad night (3550)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team

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  (360): Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team http://tfl.nu/lnn4
  Replies (6) Good night (4439) Bad night (1261)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me

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  (773): At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me http://tfl.nu/wnez
  Replies (4) Good night (2941) Bad night (1273)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me

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  (260): I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me http://tfl.nu/3lh5
  Replies (6) Good night (891) Bad night (2939)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.

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  (484): You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night. http://tfl.nu/9q4k
  Replies (9) Good night (3280) Bad night (823)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.

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  (518): I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face. http://tfl.nu/ha5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1054) Bad night (523)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.

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  (318): In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/56nz
  Replies (12) Good night (484) Bad night (1787)
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  (310): View more from California

  I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle

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  (310): I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle http://tfl.nu/8b8w
  Replies (6) Good night (1341) Bad night (574)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  re read what you just said

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  (773): i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter (1-773): re read what you just said http://tfl.nu/07tx
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (1446)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder

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  (705): All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder http://tfl.nu/9ns2
  Replies (8) Good night (805) Bad night (467)
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  (916): View more from California

  My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"

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  (916): My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower" http://tfl.nu/qx3d
  Replies (7) Good night (1016) Bad night (387)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  How did you get him out of the shower last time?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.

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  (727): How did you get him out of the shower last time? (1-727): Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed. http://tfl.nu/m3jy
  Replies (0) Good night (816) Bad night (249)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.

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  (812): On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond. http://tfl.nu/u4yu
  Replies (9) Good night (173) Bad night (363)

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