I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
