i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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