And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
