we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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