a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
