Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself