So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.