dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.