no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.