Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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