Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Randomize
