So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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