Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you would pick up someone in the library
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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