she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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