Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
