How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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