I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
just found out that she named her cat after me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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